What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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The white guy did it!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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The Holocaust

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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