a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Chikin nuggets

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Kony 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops