What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

i was molested.

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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