Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Gale swallows.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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