Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Women's Rights

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Yee

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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