what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +37

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +40

knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops