Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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