What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops