Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Runescape.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Itookasipasoda

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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