so a baby seal walks into a club...

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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BUT HWY?

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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