A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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