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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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