Ron Paul for President!

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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Justin Bieber

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Tommy got neutered.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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T u r n i p s

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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