What did the snake say to the rat?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops