pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops