A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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