A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops