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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Tommy got neutered.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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