What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

Justin Bieber

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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