Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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