To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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it

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why did the black kid pass the exam? Because he studied.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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