An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +10

justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

23

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops