What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

hi

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

Asian NASCAR.

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

This comment is anti to jokes.

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

Obama 2012

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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