There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops