what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

Jesus

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

What rymes with milk..... milf

How Long is a Chinese name.

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

What's the difference between a duck?

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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