- Anti Joke

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

Sarah Palin

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

This comment is anti to jokes.

what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops