Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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hi

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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I went to the store and I fell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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