what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Kony 2012

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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