why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -156

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops