A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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