Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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pedophile

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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