3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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You.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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hrih

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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