Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

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Abortion.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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