What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops