What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Hail Hitler

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops