Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Hail Hitler

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops