michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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