A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

We found a cure for cancer. Death

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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