Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops