What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blind man walks into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The american education system.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops