Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

charlie sheen becomes sober.

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

Justin Bieber

Tommy got neutered.

What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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