How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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