Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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