YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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