There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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