I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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sky's sty

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops