What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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