Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Bob Saget

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My wife made me a sandwich

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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punchline below punchline above

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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