Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops