What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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my wife out of the kitchen

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops