How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Women's Rights

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Christians

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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