What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops