- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig spinning head like neck is gonna break off Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALIY, BEASTALITY? AGAIN?

Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

Wenis Penis

what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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