Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops