what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Abortion.

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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binladin walks into the american seals

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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What's worse than being arrested? Being arrested twice

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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HOW DO YOU KILL A BLACK MAN? YOU DONT

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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